This time it's out of randomness , just wanted to see how long i'd last before i feel like sleeping...
And so what's been going through my mind right now ?
Well many stuffs , let me begin with the title of this post.
I fell asleep writing this letter in red ink for you...
Sounds rather sad and depressing , but there's a hidden meaning behind it...
It means "I died writing this letter in blood for you"
Emo-much ?
Pretty much yeah...like i said , im sort of backtracking my life to the point where everything was happy for me , so i have to go through this emo phase i guess o_o idk
Help me sort myself out if you can , i'd appreciate it.
Let me begin on relationship whilst the topic is pretty much related to the previous one.
This is based on my own point of view and if i were to be making any points that contradict each other , it's because im looking at things from different sides.So bear with me aight ?
Relationship.People get in and out of them.Same shit different people different day.
Some learn how to deal with em , some cling on to their loved ones , some just walk off once it's over and others just cant be bothered.
Me , sad to say im the type who clings but will slowly learn to let go once it's over.
I still cant believe myself for ever getting quite a few online girlfriends.
Long distance relationship...LDR
LDR requires tonnes of patience my friends...it really does...
I get shit from my real friends saying "What if they're cheating on you ?" or "What if she already has a real bf ?"
Those shitz will come alright , but you learn to deal with them and give whoever you're dating online the benefit of the doubt because you really cant control them or what they do seeing as it's LDR.
Even if they were to be doing those stuffs behind your back , what can you do ? Nothing
So yeah , it requires lots of patience and commitment if both parties are serious about hooking up.
I'll admit that i was serious with this particular girl...
We had this sort of open relationship but not that open (if you get what i mean o_o)
I cried over her , yes im not ashamed of admitting i cried about a girl ive never met
She was always there for me aight , no matter how hurtful my words were , she'll be there.
She'd return to me even after we broke up a few times.
I started to really see her true love , as what i'd call it
She'd just stay with me , chat with me ,make each other laugh and even was serious about hooking up and getting married.
Loving me for who i was
I loved her for this , for this care and love she showed me , this warm fuzzy feeling she gave me even though we were a thousand miles apart.
Call it whatever you want , but yeah i was serious about going to Hawaii to meet her (anyone can guess who she is yet ?)
So yeah , in the end...gah i wont talk about the end for now...talk to me personally if you want to know aight ?
As i was saying , as of that incident , i dont think i'll ever find someone like her ever again.Im still looking for a girl who would do something similar to her and i'd return her the love right back.
And i hate it when people just toy around with relationships.Getting in and out of countless relationships.Flirting about too much or cheating on someone.
Im not saying i hate flirting , idc if you flirt coz i know i do or should i say used to.But i wont take it if you just went around messing with the opposite gender's mind making them like you , then bitch about the person liking you , then just walk off like that once you're done flirting or anything that's similar to that.
i just wont take it.
Well i guess im all about committment as well eh ?
Cant be helped after what happened in my past.
With that i'll leave you guys to ponder about what kind of a person i am in a relationship...
Oh and by the way...the girl i was talking about...
her name is...
Kendralyn L Coco...my first and last online girlfriend
(last meaning ive had other girls after breakign up with her , but we got back in the end and broke up again , and i never online dated again)
Roxaz out~
"I'll wait for the right time"
-Roxaz