Guess who's back ?
4:44 AM - Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Previous post was in May 2010. I'm reviving this blog, bringing life to it once again.
Man...I wished i had taken a look at my blog during those passing months.
Then i wouldn't have to go through the shit I had.
But after everything that people have told me, I finally got the push I needed.
This dizzy dreamer has remembered whom he used to be.
Ahaha I guess you could say it was also partially because of a hidden motive.
I guess i could reveal that hidden motive here later on in the post. hehe =3
Ok so well, I did mention that my past is of no concern in the previous post.
I've forgotten about that in the months leading to this since May.
I kept holding on to the past wishing it would remain the way it is, but who was I to kid.
Things have changed.
I'm sorry for having made my friends carry the burden with me.
I'm sorry for not remembering who I was.
Enough of that emo shit.
After that little talk I had with someone, here I am.
The Roxaz many of you have known =]
To be honest, I was smiling throughout the bus ride home.
Happy because I was finally able to move on. Thank you Gristal.
Haha, I guess we all need to talk to someone new once in awhile to remind us of ourselves.
"Let go of the old so that the new can come."
I think at this point of time, many of you know I've taken a liking of someone new.
HAHA...man took me a good 15 minutes to type that line down...oh boy... XD
sorry shiok sendiri moment there AHAHA
Anyways, yes I have, for quite some time now.
You all know who is it, i just dont know if she knows o.o
I suck at confessions and the timing for it -.-
but heys Give eveRy thIng Some Thought And Laugh.
with that I end this post.
Keep smiling people, everything will be alright in the end.
I'm here to listen to your woes and help make you smile.
Thank you everyone for being there for me.
Love you lots *insert heart here*
-Roxaz
Dear you...
7:01 AM - Thursday, May 27, 2010
My name is Fazlee, otherwise known as Roxaz among my friends. What I did in the past is of no concerns anymore. No more secondary school stuffs. No more talks about my online relationships. To put it simple, i know no one would care and i dont care about it anymore myself. I dont mind if you were to ask me but to be honest, i'd be very brief about it.
Alot of things have changed. We've all matured and learned a few of life's hard lessons. I had to go through a few of those lessons alone. 1 year prior to me entering RP, i was re-taking my O-level maths, it gave me more than enough time to reflect on myself, think about the world, and corny as it sounds, think in a more philosophical way. That was in 2008. Come 2009, enter the world of awesome friends, i didnt have to go through those lessons alone,i had very good best friends to share things with. Thank you.
After being alone for quite some time, you learn to appreciate the beauty of life and the simplicity of this rather complex world we're living in. Paradox much but yeah. You see your fellow humans walking around, living their own lives and you cant help but ponder if they've thought about things the way you did. You also probably ponder how they're able to lead such simple lives, being happy. Cant help but be envious a little sometimes.
Not everyone can lead such a simple life. As much as i want to, it wont be that easy for me. You know, it's kind of funny for me. A game design student, who wants to create a world of fantasy for the people and myself, wanting to lead a simple life and throw away that exciting world. Im starting to lose my chain of thoughts here, so things might not start to make sense or link together. I guess that's something ive learnt to accept. Cant always get what you want.
Accepting. That's something im very good at. Accepting things the way they are and not questioning it. Contradictory to what i love to read about, psychology, where i have to probe the person's mind. Anyways, yeah, im a very understanding and rather open person. I can accept who you are, and willing to forgive what you did. Im able to take on almost any form of tasks just dont abuse that trust.
Few of the things that saddens me. People who dont believe in my capabilities despite me having shown it more than once over. What else need i do to prove worthy ? But oh wells, not as if i cannot live with it. Another thing is, constant comparison with others. I dont mind being compared to others because i know it's only human to compare the better with the good. But if you were to keep comparing the better and good, the latter being me, it starts to break my self confidence slowly. What do you still want me to do ? I can only be myself. Others have their own way of living, i have mine and i live it the way i choose so i dont see the need to constantly be compared. Even if you're not directly comparing, just the constant mention of them can break my confidence slowly. If it's once in awhile, im cool with it, i'll take it as a reminder for improvements of myself, just dont be reminding all the time.
Despite, taking so many different hard knocks and demoralizing moments, i stay loyal to my friends and even more loyal to my girlfriend. I may not be the best that any of you have ever had, but i try my best to keep you guys happy, to help you all out (despite all those "demoralizing" stuffs said as a come back) and most importantly keep you guys with me. To my friends, i know we've all not spent much time together ever since late last year, i just want you all to know i still love you guys. Even though things cant go back to the way they were, i want it to be better in the future, and dood we NEED to go out again soon, atleast for dinner (mushy much ahaha). To jasmine, despite all those insecurities you have, 7 words for you. I wont leave you, i love you.
This post was written due to the overwhelming thoughts ive been having in my head, there were plenty more things that i thought of but they were all gone by the time i started on this.
This post goes out to : Jasmine, Alex, Ani, Khair, Chris, Serene, Lulu, Cheng, Ethan, Leroy, Edwin, Hafiz, Kelly, Jeannie and all those whom we've gone through shit together. Love you all.
Sincerely,
Roxaz
About time it's revived =]
9:48 PM - Sunday, December 6, 2009
OKAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY LIKE FINALLY OMG !!!
Dead for over 2 months...that's a very long time eh ?
but oh wells not like it can be helped...havent had one of those Epiphany moments i get every once in awhile...
i guess you can say ive realized much truth about the world..
bluegh ahaha before i bore the hell out of all of you...
ON TO AN UPDATE OF MY LIFE !!!
(Only reason im reviving my blog is coz of Jolin o.o/)
Pretty much a mundane life...not much going on ever since i quit HHIG.
Things are gonna pick up again now though...ClubG demands more stuffs now especially with important events coming up like STArt10 and FoP and Open House...sooo yeah
oh and RP's retarded...they only allow cashcard or NETs payment for library fines...and the fines are not in the dollars...we're atalking about 20 FUCKING CENTS worth of fine that they want us to pay through NETs...fucking retarded...like dude cant they tab the fines to the school fees or just accept cash payment...20cents by NETs...pathetic...
AND WHAT'S UP WITH GUYS FINDING ME ATTRACTIVE...LIKE GAAAAAYYYY !!!!
leave the emo kid alone man =[
quote from Joelle - "hot gay body"
...yeah...she says i have the body of a hot gay............
shuttup dont laugh......
sooo yeah...other than that...like i mentioned...no epiphany moments as of late...
everything's been rather cheerful and normal... =]
-Roxaz
Never Take Friendship Personal
9:34 AM - Wednesday, August 12, 2009
When friendship gets personal...
You tend to create criterias for friends...
You'd be looking for people that suit those criterias...
Only very selected few would be in that circle of friends
I've seen this happen more times than i can remember...
I dont blame them for doing so though , coz i am that way myself...
Take a look at my secondary school friends...
Ive been in the same class as some of them from Sec 1 through Sec 4
namely Sean , Jon , Meiyan , joyce , jolin , peck teng and forgive me if i forgot some of you
And then take a look at my new friends...my poly friends...
Ive told my poly friends more personal stuffs as compared to my sec school friends
and ive only known my poly friends for like a few months...
gaaaahhhh idk what im talking about anymore here...
When friendship gets personal , it tends to make you look like a jerk/bitch
Dumping old friends for new ones...
then rebounding back to your old ones when the new ones fail to meet your criteria
or something like that...meh
do i even make sense
gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
and i come to question myself...
Is it better to have a small ring of close friends or a big ring of good friends...?
this ofcourse is subjective to everyone's preference...
Wait wah ?
8:32 PM - Monday, August 10, 2009
Ok dood , this is siiiiiiiiicccckkkkkkk
Yesterday , National Day , 09-08-09 , Sunday
Got wasted with the clique :3
First , we met at City Hall to go to Singapore Arts Museum to catch Cheng's performance there.
Have to say it was entertaining especially the part where the mic plopped out of the mic stand
ahahaha XD
So yeah , after that we headed on towards Alex's place to LEPAK !!!!!!!!!
Chris , Dhines , Ethan , Khair , Sam , Serene , Jeannie , Cheng and I.
We tonned the night at Alex's crib...was uberly epic
Played Dare or Dare...
WITH VODKA AND JUICE :3
Ok so , it was those 2 retards , Sam and Dhinesh who got utterly wasted beyond control...
Nesh was bullshitting the whole time
Sam was just drop dead , puking XD
Should have seen them both being uber wasted
As for me...well i did get wasted , not that bad
I can hold my liquor (i know i said that i dont have alchohol control in one of my earlier post , that's a lie)
Funny thing was , i cant remember anything else other than that...
I even forgot that it was today that we went home not yesterday...
My memory's all screwed up...
Im not even sure if this post made any sense @_@
gah
ahaha
anyways till next time
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee